a moment on marriage

A lot of people lately have been asking me about marriage. What’s it like? Why did we get married so young? Aren’t you scared to be stuck with one person forever? How is it different than just living together?

It’s different legally. We share bank accounts & names. I did some soul searching & decided to change my name to his. We pay taxes together. If I’m dying in the hospital, he has the right to take care of me. And he knows how things are supposed to go when I’m dead.

It’s different emotionally. And that I can’t explain. It just is. And I love it. It’s like living with your best friend, because even when you dance to the same Robyn song for an hour, they will start dancing along with you & ask if you want a second beer with dinner. It’s like living with a first grader, because they leave their socks all over hell & never remember where the spatulas go. Or they decide we have too many cutting boards (impossible) & decide to hide them from you–in the storage closet, in the dry sink, in a suitcase. BUT YOU ALWAYS FIND THEM.

It’s different socially. Which is weird. People treat us differently because we were married young. They assume that we’re conservative Christians. Or that we already have kids. Or that we’re weird as shit for not wanting to sleep around longer. I’m not joking. These are all things people have said to me.

Other people are just confused. But you seem like a feminist. Why would you get married & take his name now? PATRIARCHY! I got married because it was right for us. Because we love not being settled down in the scary way people use that term, but we love being not settled down together. We love figuring it all out, even when it’s scary & you don’t know where your June paycheck will come from.

There’s also this interesting article which rings true in our case: happier, but more broke than people that get married later. Suck on THAT.

In anticipation for the new season of Mad Men, I spent way too much time clicking through this gif-filled post. I stole some gifs that seemed to summarize what I love about marriage.

It’s dancing like this…

lanedancing…but having someone think you look like this.

meganzoobieIt’s having someone talk you down from moments like this…

fatbetty…even when they risk this (though it’s obviously never come to that).

joanhitsgregIt’s a lot of one person saying something & laughing while the other person does this.

bettyshrinkAnd most of our arguments diffuse before they get anywhere, mostly for this reason.


But it’s mostly a lot of this. In public. At home. At the store.

abepeggydancingPlus it’s just friggin’ awesome.

Happy Mad Men Premiere Day!


About meganbetz

human geography PhD Student at Indiana University; wife, reader, writer, baker, gardener
This entry was posted in being married and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to a moment on marriage

  1. Paula says:

    Hi there! I just found your blog while browsing on WordPress and I have to say – this is so GENIUS! My husband and I got married young too and I love Mad Men so I relate on so many levels. Would you mind if I put your post in a Weekly Round-Up list on my blog (paulamento.com)?

    • meganbetz says:

      I’m flattered–please do! Did you check out the Mad Men article? There are a bagillion gifs. It’s amazing. (And your blog is adorbs, by the way.) Glad to have found a kindred spirit!

      • Paula says:

        Oh thank you – I feel the same way! I’m quickly becoming a Francophile myself. Looking forward to more posts from you 🙂 I’ll be reading that Mad Men article STAT and watching the premiere tomorrow

  2. Kelsey Smith says:


  3. Pingback: Weekly Round-Up: Blog Posts I Adore | PAULAMENTO

  4. Pingback: Monthly Round-Up: Blog Posts I Adore | PAULAMENTO

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